I’m a bit bummed. Every year I look forward to watching the Westminster Dog Show. It is the Super Bowl for canines – only better because it runs for two days! I planned for the event by convincing my person that we needed to have special treats. Max and I both got a sweet potato treat (my favorite), and we settled onto the bed to watch.
This year, the first dogs up were the hounds. Obviously I was cheering for the Treeing Walker Coonhound, but frankly I would have been happy with any coonhound who won – red boned, blue tick – or even fox hounds (Walker hounds are descended from foxhounds). Heck, a blood or basset hound winning would be fine by me.
The excitement was building…I hate how they go alphabetically instead of just skipping right to the scent hounds. I mean, who cares about Afghan hounds or a Borzoi? They’re hairy fluff hounds! They can only find prey if the see it! Scent hounds are the real workers of the hound family! I can find and kill prey with my eyes closed! And I’m good: 5 squirrels, 1 woodchuck, 1 rabbit…I could go on but mom is telling me to stop bragging. Anyway, imagine my surprise when a Norwegian Elkhound unexpectedly won the hound group! A Norwegian! It was a dull grey color and, and furry! Furry like a Malamute or Husky. It’s reindeer hunting Viking dog!
I couldn’t believe it! How could they not pick a coonhound or foxhound? Those canines, like me, were tri-colored! I, for example, am white, black, and tan with some ticking. I also have a beautiful strip across my hind quarters and a white blaze on my face. I saw others who were almost as beautiful as me in the competition. They should have won! How could that Elkhound win??
Mom told me not to take it personally. She said I’m overreacting. She doesn’t understand the pressure or the bragging rights that are at stake. Apparently I was too vocal with my displeasure – mom changed the channel! She announced that I couldn’t watch if I was going to have an attitude. I howled that coonhounds were all about the ‘tude! That’s why we should have won! But she didn’t care. Needless to say, she wouldn’t let me watch the next day either. I didn’t get to see who won. So today I’m still pouting. I’m going to pout for a year!
…Okay, maybe not but don’t tell her – I want to try and get more sweet potato guilt trips from her – so far it’s working!
Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking. One day when I was just hanging out thinking, mom sat next to me and said, “A penny for your thoughts.” I was amazed that a person would pay you just so you would tell them the random things that run through your mind! I mean, that seems like a really silly thing to pay for, especially since it she just asked what I was thinking, I would have told her for free! Then I wondered if hadn’t shared my thoughts for free the last nine years, would I have had enough money to have chicken for dinner every night?!? That gave me an idea. Think of this post as a GoFundMe – I’ll throw out some of my random thoughts and you can contribute one cent for any thought you think is particularly useful. Okay, here goes:
- Snow is cold and not as nice as summer sun.
- I want to live someplace where it’s summer – or at least spring – all the time.
- Canines should have thumbs.
- I hate tennis balls.
- I want to throw tennis balls at brofur Max when he bounces them while I’m trying to sleep.
- Brofurs can be brats.
- Barking at the top of your lungs is freeing.
- I’m hungry again. Wonder what’s on the counter?
- People are oblivious to their surroundings.
- My people have no idea that that Thing lives in our backyard.
- I hope that Thing doesn’t eat Max.
- I wonder if that Thing tastes like chicken?
- If I had chicken everyday would I get bored?
- Nah, I love chicken.
- I hope people pay me for these thoughts so we can buy chicken.