Dancing with the Stars

My person likes to dance. Not at clubs or dance halls, but around the living room. She usually can get Max to waggle his hips and tail while she sings, dancing along. Max, being a people canine, will do anything to please our people. He’s what is referred to as happy-go-lucky. Meanwhile, I’m more of an intellectual. I don’t like to dance (although I do love a good howl-a-long if I like a certain song). But in reality, I’d prefer to sit in bed and read a book with mom. I’m not one to watch a lot of television – although as an exception, I’ll probably tune in to watch the Westminster Dog Show. So imagine my surprise when mom said she had always dreamed of dancing with the stars (I didn’t even know she watched that show!).

This revelation occurred after my people had come back from seeing the movie Hidden Figures. The movie brought back a lot of memories for her. It turns out my mom is so old she remembers men walking on the moon! She said she use to follow all the Apollo missions from take off to landing, dreaming that one day she would fly in space too. Apparently, girls weren’t allowed to go into space when she was growing up. It’s really a shame, I think mom would have made a great astronaut. She loves science and looking into the sky. She’s encouraged me to be more observant. Now I find myself gazing into the night sky in search of aliens (I’ve been hearing about them coming here but I haven’t found any yet. I’ll keep looking.) It’s amazing what you find in the natural world when you turn off the tv and your phone, and just look around. The world is amazing!

I decided I wanted to do something nice for mom for introducing me to the wonderful world of nature. I looked through catalogs and online stores. Nothing. Then I found a picture on Pinterest. It’s by a photographer named Hubble. I don’t know how he took the picture, but I knew the instant I saw it that I could give mom the gift she always wanted. My mom could dance with the stars! And so, I’d like to share this with her and all the dreamers who have faced obstacles in achieving their dreams because of small minded people throwing roadblocks.

This is Dancing with the Stars:

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Always keep your head up. 

Lizard!

Today was a kitchen sink day. That’s what mom called it as she was putting our coats on us before going outside. I thought we were going to get hit with dirty dishes falling out of the sky, but it turns out that ‘kitchen sink day’ just meant it was snowing, sleeting, and just plain messy out. Normally we don’t venture out on car rides on nasty days but mom had to go to the library for an emergency errand. Translated that means she was out of reading material. (Humans are very hard to understand sometimes!) Apparently, having sufficient reading material is critical since tomorrow mom said we’re getting a lizard.

I was dumbfounded by the news. Not that she was out of reading material, or that we were going to the library – this is a common occurrence in our house. What surprised me was that we were getting a lizard! You see, mom isn’t exactly a reptile person. It was a  surprise when she said a few months back that if she couldn’t have a dog she’d get a cat. A feline. C-A-T! Can you imagine my feelings of betrayal? How could she even consider such a thing? And now this – a lizard!

Of course, my first thought was where would this thing sleep? I’ve heard they need warmth – (well so DO I!) – and I am not about to give up my prime spot in the middle of the bed. Max was equally adamant that the foot of the bed was his and he wasn’t sharing either! Then I started to worry about food – well I am not sharing my food and treats either! Every hound for herself – that’s my motto. Max and I voted and we decided to tell mom we did not want a lizard. We were putting our paws down!

We had to wait until my person got off the phone. She was talking to her mother about buying groceries for the lizard. I couldn’t believe my ears – this lizard thing was going to get a grocery cart full of food! Unfair! Max and I only get (mostly) dog food, not an all-you-can-eat buffet! I had heard enough! I pawed at mom until she hung up the phone, then I confronted her. I was spokesdog for Maxwell and myself. I was bearing my soul. I was trying to be as diplomatic as I could be…and then she howled. Laughing.

She had tears in her eyes, but she kept laughing. Lizard! Lizard! She just saying it over and over again. Lizard! And then she’d start hyperventilating. She took out her phone and found a picture which she showed me:

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LIZARD! She cried out pointing at the picture! At this point I was not only confused, but annoyed! “WE ARE NOT GETTING A LIZARD!”, I stormed.

“You’re right”, she chuckled. “We’re getting a BLIZZARD!!! As in a foot of SNOW! That’s why I was checking that your grandmother had enough food for a couple of days.”

At this, I did what any self-respecting hound would do – I turn to Max and said “Told you so!” Poor Max. He was low canine on the totem pole. All he could do is hang his head and wander over to his bed mumbling something about people being hard to understand. They sure are Max – but at least we don’t have to share the bed with a reptile. 🦎

 

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