The Oracles Speak

As is our family tradition, my people decided that we would go into Boston to experience the first day after First Night. They wanted to see the ice sculptures created for the New Year’s Eve celebration – I wanted to chew the fat with some of the animal oracles around the city to see what the new year had in store.

What? You didn’t know that Boston has great oracles?! I’ll admit, until last year I didn’t either. Truth is they tend to be overshadowed by names like Kennedy, Adams and Revere. They like it that way. They don’t want to be bothered by paparazzi who buzz around like a swarm of fire flies! They don’t want millions of people asking them questions. They like their low profile, almost invisible way of life. They talk freely with animals and children but the rest of the time they are quieter than statues.

My first stop, like last year, was to visit the mother of all oracles, Mrs. Mallard. Mrs. Mallard can talk your ears off – I think it has to do with being stuck with a gaggle of perpetual ducklings – once the dear woman gets talking, well there’s no stopping her! (At least this year I got smart and had my people bring along a snack for me!) Mrs. Mallard told me that, in her unscientific opinion, the year of the tiger had been a real bear for people and she, for one, was glad it was done! She told me 2011 was the year of the rabbit and since rabbits were soft and cute she anticipated the new year to be calmer and tamer. Anyway, that’s the gist of it – truthfully, my eyes were starting to glaze over. Mrs. Mallard had started by talking about the economy then somehow ended up yacking about Mack and Quack having been ducknapped, and at that point I was lost. I thanked her a half dozen times – (as she kept talking endlessly! ) – until I had safely made my escape to the Boston Common.

I had to talk my people into letting me talk to the next animal oracle – they thought I had spent too much time with Mrs. Mallard and they wanted to see the ice sculptures before they melted. I assured them the next visit would be short so we took a walk to Frog Pond. The frog I spoke with is named Frederick (at least that’s what he told me). We started talking about the weather being unseasonably warm after the blizzard of the week before. I asked Frederick what he thought the New Year had in store for us. He put his head in his hand thinking. And thinking. And thinking some more.

I wish I could tell you what Frederick said, but the last I saw him he was still thinking about it. It seems when your family has lived on the Boston Common since 1634, you don’t feel the need to answer questions very quickly – after all you aren’t going anywhere. It seems we were however – my people had lost patience with Frederick and they led me away.

Truthfully, I’m not sure that Frederick had an answer. He may be the Oracle of the Common, but if he was so smart how come he didn’t know that his swamp would turn into an ice skating rink? I bet Kermit wouldn’t have let that happen! Come to think of it, maybe he did and that’s how he ended up in Hollywood. Humph – I bet Frederick sold out to Hollywood too and that’s why he didn’t want to let on about the future! I bet Frederick signed one of those Hollywood non-disclosure agreements and has plans to be a famous movie star. OMG! I was talking to a real movie star!

Maybe that’s what Frederick was telling me by not telling me: He was going to go to Hollywood so he could come to Boston and make big time movies like Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon and Ben Afflack! So, 2011 will be a year of great movies made locally with local actors who aren’t local anymore. I can’t believe that I’ll be able to tell everyone that I knew Frederick when he was from Boston before he became Frederick of Hollywood! Yup, I think the Oracles are right, 2011 is looking up! I think it’s going to be a great year!

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