And the winner is…
Oh My Dog! I had to howl out the great news – I am going to be in the Westminster Kennel Club 2013 Dog Show!! What a surprise! I thought after I ran into mom’s raised garden bed, (who puts garden beds in the middle of a squirrel chase zone?!?), that the scar on my nose would just ruin my beauty queen chances. Sure I thought about seeing a canine plastic surgeon, but I couldn’t convince mom that winning a tiara would pay for the expense. I’ll admit, I’ve spent months trying to lick my wounds (it’s hard when the wound is on the top of your nose). I’ve spent hours sitting by my bowl trying to drown my sorrows (perhaps water wasn’t the strongest beverage of choice, but hey, you make do). Just when I thought all was lost, I accidentally awoke early while my people were watching one of those morning shows. That’s when I heard the news.
The American Kennel Club has recognized Treeing Walker Coonhounds as a breed and is allowing them to compete! Apparently the people from the AKC have finally traveled south of the Mason-Dixon! Last year they recognized Blue Tick and Red Boned Coonhounds and this year Treeing Walker Hounds. Okay, mom says I’m being harsh, but really, we’ve been living in the south for ages! We hunt (I have killed 4 mice, 1 squirrel and 1 groundhog), we tree prey (raccoons, opossum and even bear!), and we lie in the sun of our owners front yards to provide ornamentation and atmosphere. What more could you want from a canine?! My grandma, who is originally from South Carolina, absolutely loves me! I think I bring a little of that southern sunshine into her life (I lie on her living room rug – she doesn’t have much of a front yard and I don’t care for the cold). She loves to give me cheese while I pretend I’m not a beautiful killing machine.
Okay, so I’m afraid of guns. And thunder. And backfiring cars. And the wind. And the flash on cameras. But really, do you know anyone who doesn’t have a phobia or two? When you have my good looks and talents these are minor issues. Obviously, when I’m parading in the ring at WKC show – (people aren’t going to scream I hope – screaming scares me) – they’ll see what a perfect specimen I am! I know I’ll win the hound group hands down! I’ll stare down those poodles during the Best in Show – those fluffy, prancing pretenders don’t stand a chance!
I’ve even started writing my acceptance speech: “Thank, you fellow canines! I’d like to thank my people for this wonderful opportunity. Without them I wouldn’t be the canine I am today. I’d like to thank the Academy for a chance to star in the show tonight. And I would especially like to thank my publicist…”
What mom? What do you mean I’M not going? What do you mean it’s other Treeing Walker Coonhounds entered in the dog show? But I thought? Sigh.
Okay, umm, I seem to have made a slight error. However, we are having popcorn on the sofa on February 11th to watch the dog show. You are welcome to join me (admission to my sofa is one diamond studded tiara per person – hey, what girl doesn’t love a tiara?).