I have been living with my people for almost a year now and I still don’t understand them. Maybe I never will. Let me tell you what happened. Yesterday morning, while I was keeping watch from my post on the sofa, hundreds of birds suddenly descended into our yard! Of course, being the reliable security canine that I am, I immediately recognized this as a serious breach in Sunday morning protocol and sounded the alarm.
My people immediately looked out the window to assess the threat for themselves. In a move that had me wondering if they had made their morning coffee a little too weak, they dismissed the threat telling me that everything was alright (you know, in that voice people have that really means they don’t want to hear about it and please be quiet). Here we had a dangerous avian flash mob on our front lawn, strutting around, emptying the feeders and my people told me to be quiet and turned their attention back to the television!! Can you believe it??! When I continued to voice my concern (they really need to listen to their security canine!), they told me that I shouldn’t worry – it was only fall flocking.
Fall flocking?? I looked again. I am not an expert on the avian species, but they didn’t look like they were flocking to me. They were standing at least a wing span away from each other, so I couldn’t really see how they could possibly be flocking with each other (but then birds do that whole sit in the nest with eggs thing, so maybe my people know what they’re talking about). I was about ready to let my guard down when I saw even more fly down into the yard. That’s when I knew they were Tweeting!
I remembered that Alfred Hitchcock movie that I watched on TMC one afternoon! Maybe this was an innocent avian flocking flash mob, but what if it was an avian attack! Life as we know it would be for the birds! From all the Tweeting I was sure even more would soon be arriving!! Again, I told my people my concerns (I was beginning to panic!) I’m not sure what part they didn’t understand – avian flash mobs or the possibility that their ‘flocking’ birds could attack. I decided that, given their age, it was probably the whole idea of a flash mob they didn’t get, so I got on the internet to show them what a flash mob could look like. The photo shocked them! I don’t think they realized that people flashed in a mob (librarians can be so sheltered!!). Suddenly, realization crossed their faces! The avian mob on the lawn, I could see from their faces, began to take on a bit more significance. They were finally beginning to understand that we were under attack!
Then they were gone. In a flash, the avian attack was over. The feeders were empty, the ground littered in spent shells. The silence was deafening – the tweeting having stopped (I was pretty sure the Tweeting stopped due to being over capacity, so I kept my eyes open for more birds pulling up the rear, carrying a huge whale). After awhile, when the birds didn’t return, I finally relaxed.
That’s when I started to wonder if I would ever learn to understand people. I try so hard to protect them from dangerous wildlife, but I’m not sure if people even understand what is dangerous and what isn’t. I guess all I can do is to continue to educate my people to the dangers of suburban life, with the hope that I can continue to keep them safe. A canine’s work is never done…