Power to the Canines!
My person took me for a long walk to the lake yesterday. I hadn’t gone for a neighborhood walk for a while so it was a nice change. Unfortunately, I was forced to wear the not-so-gentle leader. My people have it in their heads that I am a “problem” canine. I have unfairly been labeled a “puller” – which is entirely untrue! That unjustified label leads you think that I am an out of control crazed canine. I find it insulting and undignified to even be thought of in those terms!
The truth is my people can’t smell and they walk too slow. It’s not their fault – it probably has to do with their advanced age (I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I’m sure they’re over five) I’m sure when I’m their age I’ll barely be moving too (but I pray I never develop their smell disorder!!) I guess people feel the need to cover for their weaknesses – and that’s the reason they blame the canine. I just don’t like being the scape-dog.
I am curious though, what’s so gentle about a Gentle Leader? Was it field tested by canines? Did anyone ask the dogs if it was really gentle?? Was it invented by a cat loving- dog hating sadist? I have tried to tell my people that I just do not have extra padding on my nose – (For the record I have a sleek patrician style nose) – and all the rubbing from the Gentle Leader hurts. I can’t tell you how many times, especially with the heat and humidity, I have had to stop in the middle of a walk and rub my nose on the soft, cool grass to ease the muzzle burns. My people don’t seem to get the message. They accuse me of being a drama queen!
I decided what my people might understand is factual research. I Googled “canine walks”. In no time, I was able to find visual proof to support my case. If you will, Exhibit A from Getty Images:Here we see the Canine-in-Chief President Bo taking a relaxed walk, while his security person struggles to keep up. Does President Bo look like he’s running to you? No! People are just two-footed and as a result slooow. They can’t help it – but who would dare accuse President Bo of being a puller or try to restrict his olfactory explorations? Answer: No one. Did you notice in Exhibit A that Canine-in-Chief Bo is not wearing a Not-so-Gentle Leader? Binding the mouth of the canine who represents the free world would be unthinkable, criminal even!! The howls from the canine world regarding freedom of speech would be deafening!
This great country was built on the backs of great, hard working canines, equines, bovines, and porcines! (Historically, the felines didn’t work – like Congress, they just laid around telling everyone else what to do). Canines have died in the service of our country. We have explored space. We have worked hard to get and keep a canine in the White House – This is our time, it is our destiny! Everyone hands in the air let’s sing: ‘I am canine hear me roar, in numbers too big to ignore, and I know too much to go back an’…wait I’ve gotten off topic here…sorry…
To my people: I love our walks. I love exploring new places and smelling new things. I love you…but could we leave the face harness at home? Maybe walk a little faster? I found this picture when I was surfing the web, it gave me an idea. We could get some wheels for you so you won’t feel left behind (and it wouldn’t seem like I pulling you when -in my opinion – I’m really not). Just look at this person who got all dressed up to be with his canines! It touches my heart! They look like they’re having so much fun as a pack unit. I was thinking that we could be happy and have fun as a pack unit too! If you got wheels and we ditched the Gentle Leader. Oh well, just something to think about.
- Posted in: Treeing walker coonhounds