Googling is Boggling

I am a bit boggled. I like to hang around the library waiting for my people, so I hear a bit of chatter. It’s very common to hear people talk about how they Google themselves. At first, I thought that was something that no canine should hear about while sitting outside a library! (of course, then I remembered my people did say that all sorts of things happen in public libraries!) This bothered me – I mean if it’s not okay for me to lick certain areas – (I hear ‘Daisy stop that!’ all the time) – then why is it okay if people google themselves?? Especially in public! I thought it was a bit of a double standard – the ‘do as I say not as I do’ variety.

Okay, okay – I admit I’m new to this blogging/internet stuff. My person explained Google to me by saying it was like DogPile. Truthfully that was more confusing. I thought a dogpile is what they picked up after I relieved myself in the yard. So many words for everything! Why can’t people have fewer words and expressions?! Give me a straight forward growl any day! I didn’t know it was a computer thing until I typed my name in the little white box when I was fooling around with our home computer while my people were at work one day.

That’s when things got even more confusing. I typed my name – I know I spelled it right (I used spell check) – but something strange happened. I expected that I would see a picture of myself. I thought Google would say what a wonderful Treeing Walker Coonhound I was and how I was the canine every person dreamed of – hoped for even! Instead this is what I saw:

I’m a hosta! Can you believe it? All this time I thought I was a coonhound and I’m really a hosta! My people had hidden the truth. I was depressed. I couldn’t talk to my people – they obviously didn’t want me to know I was a hosta. I was having an identity crisis! I thought about running away from home – but I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone on the street with no sofa nearby. No, running away wasn’t the answer! I needed to confront this like the canine coonhound, master hunter I once thought I was…so I curled up on my people’s bed and slept on it (everything is better after you’re dormant awhile).

When I woke up, I was thinking clearer. I was determined to love my people no matter what! Afterall, they had taken me home (so they must have liked me). They are avid gardeners, but they had not tried to plant me yet – that was promising. In fact, my people didn’t even like me to dig holes in the yard so obviously they didn’t want me in one. I looked at that Google image of myself again – I needed to compare that to the images I saw in my person’s laptop (Yes, before you ask- my person had a “let’s take home movies of the canine with the laptop” night – I know, I know, but it wasn’t worth a call to the MSPCA!)

Much to my surprise, that Google image didn’t look anything like me – aside from the flopping ears. Even then, the Google hosta had eight ears and they were green – some with holes! I know for a fact that I do not have holes in my ears! In fact, as I scrolled down the page I did see a hosta named Daisy Doolittle that did look like me! It was this charming tri-colored plant with a stunning nose (that other hosta did not have a nose which is just terrible – I just can’t imagine life without a nose!). I thought – “Ah ha! this is the kind of hosta my people fell in love with”. I felt special again. My people had good taste after all!

I never told my people about how I had stumbled upon the truth about my adoption. I don’t think they need to know that I know. It’s not important if they found me in a gardening catalog or if they stumbled upon me while searching for hostas in Google. What’s important is that they love me -whether I’m a plant or animal. And I know for a fact, you just can’t find that kind of love from simply Googling Daisy! I love my people!!

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