I can be a high strung, nervous canine. I need two things to maintain my inner balance: exercise and sleep. I did okay in the exercise department since I was able to get to the dog park and meet up with some of my friends. I didn’t however, do too well in the sleep department. I’m exhausted!
Saturday morning I was planning on sleeping late. I just shouldn’t make plans! At 4:30am the sky started to growl. At first, I thought I was having a bad dream. (There is this rather nasty Jack Russell at the dog park and he gives me bad dreams every once in awhile.) But this growl was way to deep – it shook the house! I woke up in a panic! All I could think of was Clifford the Big Red Dog. I mean, it wasn’t Clifford growling over our house (he’s too well bred for that) – but it could have been his evil twin! (he must have an evil twin from a parallel universe – everybody does). The more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was Clifford’s evil twin. I immediately jumped out of bed and into my people’s bed. I had to warn them about the impending attack by the giant canine! I had to make them understand!
My people seemed unimpressed with my giant canine growling theory. The sky continued to growl (I thought I was going to wet myself!) – but they didn’t even get up to look out the window. The giant canine could be ready to use our house as a chew toy but they didn’t even roll over. That’s not entirely true – one of my people did sit up and turn the television on. I thought for an instant that we had security cameras and my person was just checking to see what the Red Twin was doing -in case we needed to evacuate – but when I dared to look, it turned out my person was watching the Weather Channel!
I just don’t understand people! I’m shaking like a leaf worried that we are all going to be devoured by this home wrecker and my person just sits up to watch a radar loop. Denial – pure denial! What could I do? I had one loopy person and a crazed canine on my hands! (My other person kept patting me and telling me everything was okay – which got me in an even worse blind panic because you know it’s not okay and the more they say it is the more you know it’s not!).
After a few minutes of watching the radar loops, my other person turned it on some muzak station. This is when I was convinced I was going to die (Maybe I was just hoping it at this point). Why do people think that turning on elevator music is going to soothe a terrified canine? The last thing I wanted to hear is some bad 80’s hit turned elevator classic. I started to worry even more. What if this was the last thing I would ever hear before I was eaten alive by the giant vizsla? I could see my obituary now:
“Daisy Mae Doolittle, 2 1/2, was eaten by a giant vizsla. She died while trying to convince her people of the danger and motivation behind the intense growling above them. Her people (people being people) – tried to lull the giant beast to sleep by playing elevator muzak. They were all eaten in their beds, Daisy Mae, dying a hero.”
That’s the last thing I remember thinking. The next thing I knew it was morning and I was alive and in bed with my people. It was weird. I think maybe it was all just a bad dream – the growling giant vizsla, the bad muzak and my people not understanding. Then again, maybe my people did understand – Maybe they understood that sometimes even a brave canine needs the safety of lying between her people where it’s safe and warm.