Fopaw

I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully understand humans. I’ve lived with them for the last 6 months and I’m still learning what is and isn’t acceptable to them. Take the other day when my people came home from work and decided to pick me up so we could run errands together. I was amenable to that – I wanted to get out of the house and I don’t mind the car rides. I didn’t, however, realize that we’d be gone for hours!

Now usually when my people come home for lunch they give me a frozen Kong as they are leaving to head back to work. One of me people refers to this as my afternoon snack since it holds me over until dinner. I look forward to my frozen Kong. It’s fun to toss around the living room since I never know what will come squirting out. On this particular day my person forgot to give me a Kong, people can be forgetful. I’m an understanding canine, so it was no big deal.

I didn’t mind waiting while my people went into the people groomer or when they stopped to feed the car. It’s when they stopped again to go into the food store that I started to get restless, after all it was getting to be close to 7pm! I was laying down in the back seat of the car, resting my head on a nice pillow. I closed my eyes for just a minute and had this wonderful dream about chicken. I think that’s when things started to go horribly wrong. When I opened my eyes I realized I was starving! I could smell the Burger King across the street and remembered the dream about the chicken. By now I was already worrying that my people had forgotten about me. I started to panic. That’s when I made my big fopaw.

You see, the pillow I had rested on was looking like my only form of potential sustenance. I was desperate. I had to take matters into my own paws. It was this old leather thing so I thought “how different can this be from rawhide at least it’s something I can chew on?” I didn’t realize people get attached to pillows. Or that they get upset if the stuff that was inside their pillow sort of comes out.

Truthfully, I was just going for the leather but I couldn’t believe my luck when out of this pillow came all these feathers! Every canine knows that where there are feathers there is chicken! No wonder I had that chicken dream while I dozed on that pillow! It was a miracle – I was saved! I put my muzzle into the pillow to get at the chicken. The feathers went up my nose. I put my nose in again and again looking for the chicken. All of a sudden the back of the car opened. My people had returned!

They stood there staring. I felt a bit self conscious since I had feathers up my nose and some stuck in my facial hair so I’m sure it appeared that I was growing a feathered canine beard. I felt so unclean (you always want to look your canine best for your people!) They didn’t say anything to me – they just stared and said nothing. It made me nervous.

They put the groceries in the car and started for home. My people talked about the pillow as the feathers blew around the inside of the car.  It was a bit surreal. Apparently the pillow had been a gift many years ago to one of my people, so she was upset with my food choice. I hadn’t realized that pillows are sentimental things for people. My other person really worried me though. It would be quiet in the car, my person would look out the window, then turn to look at me and break out into these fits of laughter. It was bizarre. I have learned that releasing pillow contents can do strange things to people. I vowed then and there never to release pillow contents again – no matter how hungry I was! I love my people and I am sorry I upset them. I never want to see their strange pillow behavior again – I have definitely learned my lesson.


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